Thursday, February 3, 2011

UT15: The System (and [Not] Letting it Get the Better of You)

I have been feeling lost, lately. You ever get that feeling? Well, I think that the time to be lost needs to get lost.

It's wacky, how everything can add up, how things can bleed into all other aspects of life. There's work, learning, friends, family, loves, past, future... All with the present and what that means for all those other aspects – hopes, disappointments, expectations, just the ideas involved. It can be hard to find balance in any one thing, let alone all of it. So what are we to do? My thought, after processing some very important information, some outside examples of everyday life and relating, is the only thing we can do – the best we can.

This, to me, means respecting what you have, when you have it. Separating it, too, to an extent. My job isn’t my whole life; likewise, neither is anything else. But it’s all a part, and in their own ways, equally important.

It means appreciating things for what they are and why they’re there in the first place – as well as why you keep them, why they matter. Respect is utilization as well as separation. It’s not fair to anything if when interacting with it, you’re piling other things and other applied meanings on top of it.

It would be fair to say some things influence others – our familial relationships, for example, serving as a basis for how we interact with friends. This is, however, not to be the ultimate governing rule of those interactions, but merely a framework. Maybe a lesson of how to care in certain ways or what not to do in certain regards – but ultimately, the governing force should be the interaction itself.

It’s so easy to let stressors, ideations, successes, and the myriad of all other things “life” bleed over from one aspect to another – but this is not in itself a fair and moral way to live. The most “righteous” path, I think, in terms of “righteous” being “just,” would be to take all facets of life for what they are. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less. Be cognizant of their own intrinsic value and merit, be aware of their own separate meaning. This way, perhaps, life can move such as a clock, all parts working together yet on their own purpose, with the aim of moving the whole works along, keeping time and ticking off days.

Perhaps this is the way to live, I think. It's been an idea in me, for quite some time... But this is the first time that it's become something I can voice. I have hopes for writing this, yes.

I hope it helps you, too.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

UT14: Sixth Poem 2011

In the battle of phobias, abandonment is king.

I am afraid of the dark; the chittering scuttlings,
the creaks of an old house. I sleep with my feet
tucked into the blankets. I have to close
my closet door, or I can't sleep.

I avoid cardboard boxes on the road
because I think there may be
a litter of newborn kittens inside.

I don't like talking to people who
give only one-word answers; what
are those clipped phrases hiding?

I am afraid of the dark; the cluttering chill,
the spooks of an old day. I sleep with my arms
wrapped around the pillow. I have to close
my mind to you, or I can't sleep.