Living

Being by myself was never an easy thing for me
my body is my temple, you're your own best friend bullshit
doesn't account for empty hours of individual hobbies
I want laughter, I want someone to share my blunders and triumphs
I worked out today and this was all I could think of
my tears blend with the sweat and either way I can't fucking see
I go to my car and know I'm about to cook another meal for one
too many dishes to justify the effort if you ask me

Lately I've been having more trouble with being just me
pill fog, feedback missing, panic at the concept of breathing
overrides any creativity I once had quieting the harsh images
I want color, I want something to make me feel the edges of life
I cooked dinner today and this was all I could think of
the oil spatters over the stovetop and either way it's a mess to clean
I wash the dishes and I wish there was a goddamn spark in my head
too many messes to justify the effort if you ask me